I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
ANDY ROONEYIn the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
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I’ve learned, That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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I’ve learned… that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
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We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
ANDY ROONEY -
You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.
ANDY ROONEY -
Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
ANDY ROONEY -
Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
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Familiar things are a comfort to us all.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
ANDY ROONEY -
Go to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
ANDY ROONEY -
All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEY -
All of us talk faster than we listen.
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
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Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
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Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
ANDY ROONEY -
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
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Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
ANDY ROONEY -
Those of us who don’t have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading “Confused.
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It’s paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.
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No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
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Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
ANDY ROONEY -
It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
ANDY ROONEY