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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Andy Rooney

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
ANDY ROONEY

Boss Need People Work
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
ANDY ROONEY

Average Dog Nice Person
I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.
ANDY ROONEY

Luck Old Purpose Yourself
It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
ANDY ROONEY

Better Truth World
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY

Conservatism Liberal Nice People Religious
Most of us aren’t that interested in getting rich- we just don’t want to get poor.
ANDY ROONEY

Focus Interest Perspective Poor Rich
I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people’s idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
ANDY ROONEY

Country Hate Loud Patriot People
I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
ANDY ROONEY

Bitter Happiness Learning Myself
A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
ANDY ROONEY

Cat Goodness Ideas Kill Time
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
ANDY ROONEY

Book Difficult Live Surround
All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
ANDY ROONEY

Admit Economist Talk
Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion – as long as it agrees with ours.
ANDY ROONEY

Agreement Believe Opinion Ourselves Right
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEY

Age Fresh Myself Wait
The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
ANDY ROONEY

Computer Fast Technology
The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
ANDY ROONEY

Big Bookstore Diet Eat Yourself
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
ANDY ROONEY

Chance Probability Time Wrong Yourself

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

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