I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
ANDY ROONEY
Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion – as long as it agrees with ours.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
ANDY ROONEY -
I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
ANDY ROONEY -
Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you more.
ANDY ROONEY -
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
ANDY ROONEY -
One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
ANDY ROONEY -
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned… that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
ANDY ROONEY -
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEY -
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I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.
ANDY ROONEY -
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
ANDY ROONEY -
Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
ANDY ROONEY