“I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.”

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.

Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.

Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion – as long as it agrees with ours.

Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.

I’ve learned, That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

Most of us aren’t that interested in getting rich- we just don’t want to get poor.

I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.

I’ve learned, That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others

I’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

I love only one girl, one in every town.

I had no idea what was going on but I loved every moment of it!! Tokyo’s restaurant game is next level hotness.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

I love only one girl, one in every town.

I had no idea what was going on but I loved every moment of it!! Tokyo’s restaurant game is next level hotness.

Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.