“Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?”

My most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.

I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.

Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.

We’re all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people’s idea of patriotism is hating other countries.

I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I can’t choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.

Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.

I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.

We must eat to live, and not live to eat.

He must have a long spoon that eats with the devil.

I worked like a horse and I ate like a hog and I slept like a dead man.

We can’t all be lions in this world. There must be some lambs, harmless, kindly, gregarious creatures for eating and shearing.

Bittersweet memories dancing in the pupils of my hollowed out eyes, these sugar-coated recollections attempt to latch onto me ultimately eating me alive.

I like skiing and surfing with kids. They are the cutest little skiers out there, in their little outfits. I just want to eat ’em up!

When engaged in eating, the brain should be the servant of the stomach.

Socialism, when the last word is said, is merely a new economic and political system whereby more men can get food to eat.