Death is nature’s way of killing you.
BILL MAHERTrusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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False hope really makes you cynical.
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I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
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Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.
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You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
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We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.
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One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
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You know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time, husband!!!
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?
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Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
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We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
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To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
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In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
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In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
BILL MAHER






