If it weren’t for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.
BILL MAHERTalk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
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When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
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A new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
BILL MAHER -
It’s not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That’s predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.
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Death is nature’s way of killing you.
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The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
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Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
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Just honest. To me, being ‘politically incorrect’ means the opposite of being political — which means to spin everything. That’s all it’s ever meant to me. It’s never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
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The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
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To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
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That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.
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Hollywood isn’t your cesspool, America. It’s your mirror.
BILL MAHER -
When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, ‘I want to help you get teeth.’ Why does that make me an a**hole?
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At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
BILL MAHER