“I have suffered from being misunderstood, but I would have suffered a hell of a lot more if I had been understood.”

Great wealth often curses all who touch it.

One cannot live through a long stretch of years without forming some philosophy of life.

The purpose of man is like the purpose of a pollywog – to wiggle along as far as he can without dying; or, to hang to life until death takes him.

I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.

Some of you say religion makes people happy. So does laughing gas.

It is bigotry for public schools to teach only one theory of origins.

There are a lot of myths which make the human race cruel and barbarous and unkind. Good and Evil, Sin and Crime, Free Will and the like delusions made to excuse God for damning men and to excuse men for crucifying each other.

The origin of the absurd idea of immortal life is easy to discover; it is kept alive by hope and fear, by childish faith, and by cowardice.

Any one who thinks is an agnostic about something, otherwise he must believe that he is possessed of all knowledge. And the proper place for such a person is in the madhouse or the home for the feeble-minded.

The only real lawyers are trial lawyers, and trial lawyers try cases to juries.

Never forget, almost every case has been won or lost when the jury is sworn.

The truth is that brains have little to do with either the making or accumulating of money.

The difference between the child and the man lies chiefly in the unlimited confidence and buoyancy of youth.

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it.

Chase after the truth like all hell.

Anyone can spot a lie, unless he is in need of that lie.

When I went through hell I learned to smile while dancing with the flames.

Hell isn’t other people. Hell is yourself.

Those who promise us paradise on earth never produced anything but hell.

She had it all, brains and body and the ability to tell me to go to hell whenever I deserved it. Love, at its finest.

The clouds in my head are raining hell today.

Every fairytale has its own hell but there’s always heaven in the end.

Heaven and Hell suppose two distinct species of men, the good and bad.

And in the same way sunflowers involuntarily follow the sun shined so bright, you could have led me to hell and I would have followed you anyway.