You know what I hate the most? People that imitate owls.
EMO PHILIPS
Once I posed nude for a magazine. I’ve never been back to THAT newstand.
More Emo Philips Quotes
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You know what I hate the most? People that imitate owls.
EMO PHILIPS -
Computers aren’t intelligent, they only think they are.
EMO PHILIPS -
I’ve always thought the best way to teach a kid not to be scared of the dark is to fill his daylight hours with as much horror as possible.
EMO PHILIPS -
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
EMO PHILIPS -
One man’s pet-stained carpet is another man’s Twister game.
EMO PHILIPS -
I’ve always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.
EMO PHILIPS -
When I was a kid, my favourite time of the year when I was child was that magical first snowfall. I’d yell Yippee! Snow! and run up to the front door and shout You know the deal… You have to let me in now.
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I got a job at an amusement park. I like to make the rides more terrifying by throwing a couple of screws onto the seats.
EMO PHILIPS -
Not everybody hates me. Only the people who’ve met me.
EMO PHILIPS -
The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence… sort of like the Post Office with tanks.
EMO PHILIPS -
My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
EMO PHILIPS -
Now there’s a seven-day waiting period to buy a gun. Who can stay mad that long?
EMO PHILIPS -
I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.
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The Scots are a very tough people. They have drive-by headbuttings. In Glasgow a sweatband is considered a silencer.
EMO PHILIPS -
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
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