“If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain.”

I have come to the conclusion that the major part of the president is to increase the gate receipts of expositions and fairs and bring tourists to town.

Next to the right of liberty, the right of property is the most important individual right guaranteed by the Constitution . .

I don’t know whither we are drifting, but I do know where every real thinking patriot will stand in the end, and that’s by the Constitution.

The game of baseball is a clean, straight game, and it summons to its presence everybody who enjoys clean, straight athletics. It furnishes amusement to the thousands and thousands.

The precepts of the Gospel were universally the obligations of Masonry.

No tendency is quite so strong in human nature as the desire to lay down rules of conduct for other people.

One cannot always be sure of the truth of what one hears if he happens to be President of the United States.

The policy of dollar diplomacy is one that appeals alike to idealistic humanitarian sentiments, to dictates of sound policy, and strategy, and to legitimate commercial aims.

I do not know much about politics, but I am trying to do the best I can with this administration until the time shall come for me to turn it over to somebody else.

Golf in the interest of good health and good manners. It promotes self-restraint and affords a chance to play the man and act the gentleman.

The truth is that in my present life I don’t remember that I ever was president.

What I am anxious to do is to secure my legislation…. What I want to do is to get through that, and if I can point to a record of usefulness of that kind, I am entirely willing to quit office.

We are all dependent upon the investment of capital.

A government is for the benefit of all the people.

The true Mason takes full responsibility for the condition of his character and ever strives for its perfection.

Politics, when I am in it, makes me sick.

A man should keep his little brain attic stocked with all the furniture that he is likely to use, and the rest he can put away in the lumber room of his library, where he can get it if he wants it.

Let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.

Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old.

If you’re willing to suffer, and I mean suffer, your brain and body once connected together, can do anything.

The most important part of the body is the brain. Of my face, I like the eyebrows and eyes.

The tradition of all dead generations weighs like a nightmare on the brains of the living.

Perhaps consciousness arises when the brain’s simulation of the world becomes so complex that it must include a model of itself.

There is nothing like chess to keep the brain smart, and give it a workout.