“Everybody now thinks that Nashville is the coolest city in America.”

It was supposed to be gross, and now it’s gorgeous.

There’s some things in life that you really consider to be priceless.

Don’t look at the poster on your wall and think ‘I could never do that.’ Look at the poster on your wall and think ‘I’m gonna do that!’

When Nirvana became popular, you could very easily slip and get lost during that storm. I fortunately had really heavy anchors – old friends, family.

I stopped doing drugs when I was 20. I was finished with drugs before Nirvana even started.

All I really had was a suitcase and my drums. So I took them up to Seattle and hoped it would work.

I’m a skinny, geeky, high school dropout – it works, kids! Sensitive guys always get the girl. You’ll get laid 10 times as much as that guy on the football team ’cause he’s on steroids and he’s gonna get fat.

What’s the last thing a drummer says in a band? ‘Hey guys, why don’t we try one of my songs?’

Develop that individuality by working as hard as you can at what you love.

Be someone’s light when they are hopeless.

Because you have things like ‘American Idol’ and you’ve got radio stations that play music made entirely by computers, it’s easy to forget there are bands with actual people playing actual instruments that rock.

You will only be great at things you love to do don’t pursue a career in something you hate to do.

The best time for gum is just before getting onstage. I need a minty-fresh microphone.

When I listen to music these days, and I hear Pro Tools and drums that sound like a machine – it kinda sucks the life out of music.

The whole slacker generation totally didn’t apply to us musically.

There’s something about heartbreak that makes for great music, but the same could be said for Jägermeister. Hangovers make for great music, too.

There’d never been a more advantageous time to be a criminal in America than during the 13 years of Prohibition.

I was never asked to join the Editorial Cartoonists Of America. No fraternity would have me in college, either. I think they know something.

If you say ‘Good Morning’ in America and it’s five past twelve you end up with a lawsuit.

I have never been able to discover anything disgraceful in being a colored man. But I have often found it inconvenient – in America.

Vaginal penetration only doesn’t work for most of us. And we’re not all meant to be monogamous either, especially since women are capable of having far more sex than men. Try to get that fact across in America!

Black History is enjoying the life of our ancestors who paved the way for every African-American.

I believe that if corporate America expects consumer confidence to be restored, they must first be honest with us.

[Donald] Trump, I think, is the sort of guy that if he maybe thought he’d made a little bit of a mistake, would find a way out, he wouldn’t want to say, “Well, that’s what I’ve done and I’m sticking to it, and I don’t give a damn.” Which is what the other people in America would be like.