The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
AMBROSE BIERCERATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
-
-
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE