Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCEAlliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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