RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
AMBROSE BIERCEAlliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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