“I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.”

There’s something about doing stand-up that’s cathartic.

I don’t normally talk about my religion publicly because I don’t want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful religion if you learn it the right way.

I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.

Stand-up is the kind of gig that’ll show you where you’re at.

I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.

I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.

I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.

The higher up I went, the less happy I was.

I got a lot of positive people around me.

I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas.

Being famous is great, it’s not like bad or horrible or anything.

Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.

Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I’m seven years late for work.

They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.

For to know all is to understand all, and this leaves no room for judgment and condemnation.

Loving you and leaving you taste the same in the mouth?

Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

We take our children everywhere we go. I don’t believe in having them and then leaving them to someone else to bring up

The bottom line is, I’m blessed with good health. On top of that, I don’t go around thinking ‘Oh, I’m 90, I better do this or I better do that.’ I’m just Betty. I’m the same Betty that I’ve always been. Take it or leave it.

If you want it, leave your excuses behind and come and get it.

Am I just a overthinking maniac? Or am I the girl that got left behind?

I leave with sadness, but also with pride.