“There’s a destitute side, a breakdown in me. My subversive pursuit to finally be free.”

I’m holding on so tightly to the promise that if nothing lasts forever, someday, this sadness will end too.

Tell me, please how I’m ever meant to forget these exact words that you said – “you have my heart you stole it and I’m fine with that”

And didn’t I used to say “live fast, die young” right up until it was your last day too soon, with me under the sun.

And as I gave up the fight to leave the forever in my heart behind, I made friends within the hellfire beast that will always burn a little too close whilst you remain out of reach.

I lost so much of myself, when I lost them both. I learnt how to be strong on my own and for everyone else.

Lately, none of what seems to matter when I’m holding you and maybe, baby, we’re getting better.

And you, you’ll always be the most brilliant mystery a masterpiece of october midnight hauntings my best dressed trauma at the evening masquerade.

What an absolute waste land loving you has become. Such a shame, to let it be any less.

Words lit low on kerosene pages, familiar comforts like asphyxiation.

Bad habits could’ve led me down so many worse paths than back to you.

Life won’t wait but you and I? we’re gonna live forever.

Thankyou for showing me not everything with love will leave.

Tomorrow will be the reminder that its all just a blur of oasis and vodka.

There’s a sincerely bittersweet truth in the way neither of us deserve me loving you.

Maybe the most perfect words I’ve ever heard, beauty and sadness, are these three. Not, I love you. But, Let it be.

All those questions that I was too afraid to ask? In the end I lay down cold welcoming the answers to tear me in half.

They see me smile on Instagram, they think that’s who I really am. But you weren’t there you didn’t see my pain. Your love was anything but vain.

You came into my life, with all your baggage, treatin’ me like collateral damage.

I give. And you take. So why are you always on my mind when I wake?

I swipe right to get you off of my mind, baby all these other boys aren’t my kind

A love like that was a serious illness, an illness from which you never entirely recover.

Keep telling yourself that things are going to be easy for you even if you don’t know-how.

I feel those nerves, they burn like fire & no matter what, the situation dire.

Missing all those nights with your kiss & I’d do anything to fix this.