LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCEDebt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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