“Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.”

True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.

To the eye of failure success is an accident.

REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.

MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.

Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.

Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

Those who stop marketing to save money are like those who stop a clock to save time.

A man should never neglect his family for business.

It is strange, but true, that the most important turning-points of life often come at the most unexpected times and in the most unexpected ways.

There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak.

In battle, there are not more than two methods of attack–the direct and the indirect; yet these two in combination give rise to an endless series of maneuvers.

I do the same exercises I did 50 years ago and they still work. I eat the same food I ate 50 years ago and it still works.

In any investment, you expect to have fun and make money.

A great deal of love given to a few is better than a little to many.