Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCEDon’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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