“They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.”

Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.

Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.

Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.

MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.

Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.

He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

It’s really bizarre because no one knows this, but elephants have killed more animal trainers than any other animal.

Leeches should be kept a day before applying them. They should be squeezed to make them eject the contents of their stomachs.

Your body’s made to run, to walk, to trek long distances and carry things, work in a forest, and hunt animals. You have to keep it alive to function.

My spirit animal is a monkey. Because I have really long arms and I like being up high.

Those who enjoy the emotion of hating are much like the groups who sate their thirst for blood by hunting and hounding to death helpless animals as an outlet for their emotions.

Don’t wear fur! Did you know, a single fur coat takes fifteen trees, just for the protest signs?

I think that people who don’t like animals tend to be selfish, but I’m biased.

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.