Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCEPrescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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