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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

Ambrose Bierce

Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Company Interior Laughter Noise
PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Contrast Fall Sense
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Man Ocean World
Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Drive Slave Substitute
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Coward Emergency Himself Legs Thinking
Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Betrayal Character Cheating Virtue
Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Administration Condition Country Failure Himself Leaving Person Politics Security
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
AMBROSE BIERCE

God Place Teaching War
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Leadership Philosophy Road
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE

God Man One Liner Reason Sleep
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Advantage Affair Interest Principle Private
Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Entertainment Innocent Military Popular
Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Best Gift God Man
MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Brain Fact Himself Mindset Mysterious Nature
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Community Marriage Master Mistress Slave
Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Faith Holy Ourselves Religion Scripture Writing

Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

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