“Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.”

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.

People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?

Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.

Is there another word for synonym?

Meow means woof in cat.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.

Sometimes a little brain damage can help.

Life is tough, then you die.

A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.