Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
LILY TOMLINExercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
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I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
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You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
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It’s a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.
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The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
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Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
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Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
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Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
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If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
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If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
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Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
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I still believe that sex is dirty. It’s just that now I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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