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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.

Lily Tomlin

Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Universe Yourself
We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
LILY TOMLIN

Consumption Life Live People Style
I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.
LILY TOMLIN

Existence Feeling Love Universe Wake Up
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
LILY TOMLIN

Hard Time Struggle Worst
You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
LILY TOMLIN

Big Confusion Deep Direction Expectation Leaving Right Understand Way
It’s a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.
LILY TOMLIN

Change Comedy Humor Present Ridicule
The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
LILY TOMLIN

Best Drugs Mindset One Liner Truth
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
LILY TOMLIN

Adult Country Election Hard Work
Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
LILY TOMLIN

Afraid Failure Inspirational Missing Opportunity
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
LILY TOMLIN

Career Important Myself Regret
Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Funny Myself Serious
If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
LILY TOMLIN

Cat Development Dog Sensitive Suffering Yourself
If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Hairs Library Woman
There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Feeling Sex
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself Success World Worry
I still believe that sex is dirty. It’s just that now I wouldn’t have it any other way.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Dirty Myself Sex

Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.

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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.

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