“Too much work and too much energy kill a man just as effectively as too much assorted vice or too much drink.”

Keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you.

What is the Law of the Jungle? Strike first and then give tongue.

We’re all islands shouting lies to each other across seas of misunderstanding.

The jungle speaks to me because I know how to listen.

We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse.

God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.

You must learn to forgive a man when he’s in love. He’s always a nuisance.

All things considered, there are only two kinds of men in the world: those that stay at home and those that do not.

If you do not get what you want, it is a sure sign that you did not seriously want it.

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

All good people agree, And all good people say, All nice people, like Us, are We And every one else is They: But if you cross over the sea, Instead of over the way, You may end by (think of it!) looking on We As only a sort of They!

It’s always best to tell the truth.

Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master.

There is no sin greater than ignorance.

Never look backwards or you’ll fall down the stairs.

A monomaniac is a sick person whose mentality is perfectly healthy in all respects but one; he has a single flaw, clearly localized. At times, for example, he has an unreasonable and absurd desire to drink or steal or use abusive language; but all his other acts and all his other thoughts are strictly correct.

People don’t stop eating, and they don’t stop drinking coffee.

A man takes a drink, the drink takes another, and the drink takes the man.

It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.

On tour, I don’t drink, because I don’t think in any other job you are supposed to get to work and drink whisky.

War and drink are the two things man is never too poor to buy.

Some writers take to drink, others take to audiences.

It is better to be full of drink than full of food.