Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGANI told you I was sick.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN