“Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this – no dog exchanges bones with another.”

The man scarce lives who is not more credulous than he ought to be. The natural disposition is always to believe. It is acquired wisdom and experience only that teach incredulity, and they very seldom teach it enough.

The world neither ever saw, nor ever will see, a perfectly fair lottery.

Goods can serve many other purposes besides purchasing money, but money can serve no other purpose besides purchasing goods.

I have no faith in political arithmetic.

Never complain of that of which it is at all times in your power to rid yourself.

The real and effectual discipline which is exercised over a workman is that of his customers. It is the fear of losing their employment which restrains his frauds and corrects his negligence.

No complaint is more common than that of a scarcity of money.

Men, like animals, naturally multiply in proportion to the means of their subsistence.

Labour was the first price, the original purchase – money that was paid for all things. It was not by gold or by silver, but by labour, that all wealth of the world was originally purchased.

Justice, however, never was in reality administered gratis in any country. Lawyers and attornies, at least, must always be paid by the parties; and, if they were not, they would perform their duty still worse than they actually perform it.

Mercantile jealousy is excited, and both inflames, and is itself inflamed, by the violence of national animosity.

Consumption is the sole end and purpose of all production; and the interest of the producer ought to be attended to, only so far as it may be necessary for promoting that of the consumer.

It is the natural effect of improvement, however, to diminish gradually the real price of almost all manufactures.

Man naturally desires, not only to be loved, but to be lovely; or to be that thing which is the natural and proper object of love.

The rate of profit is naturally low in rich and high in poor countries, and it is always highest in the countries which are going fastest to ruin.

What is prudence in the conduct of every private family can scarce be folly in that of a great kingdom.

I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.

The best part is coming. What’s the best part? You swallowing an entire cow whole? No. That’s the finale.

Usually, I’m only sad when something sad happens. I am not a melancholic person. I like to live very much in the present. If I was an animal, I’d be a little cat. They like to live life.

I stayed in show business to pay for my animal business.

I’m in the middle of my sixth book, which is about animals at the Los Angeles Zoo.

There is no more reason to believe that man descended from an inferior animal than there is to believe that a stately mansion has descended from a small cottage.

You know what the problem that animal activists sometimes have? They only concentrate on the heartbreaking things to the point where the general public thinks, ‘Oh, here comes those animal folks again and I’m going to hear all the things I don’t want to hear.’

Animals don’t lie. Animals don’t criticize. If animals have moody days, they handle them better than humans do.