I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGANTo Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGAN