The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
STEVEN WRIGHTThe older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
STEVEN WRIGHTFive out of four people have trouble with fractions.
STEVEN WRIGHTTell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
STEVEN WRIGHTIn my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
STEVEN WRIGHTI just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
STEVEN WRIGHTLast night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhen I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
STEVEN WRIGHTA clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
STEVEN WRIGHTTo steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhy do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
STEVEN WRIGHTThere’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
STEVEN WRIGHTI installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
STEVEN WRIGHTIf a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
STEVEN WRIGHTIf vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
STEVEN WRIGHTIf heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
STEVEN WRIGHT