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How come abbreviated is such a long word?

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
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Forest Funny Himself Man Nature Woman Wrong
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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Food Funny Myself Service Time
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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Eat Food Funny Human
I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
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My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’
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Better Doctor Myself Pay Right Work Yourself
If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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Heaven Hell Hot Rise Temperature Warm
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
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Bacteria Culture People
You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
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Act Attitude Head Herself Live Scare Yourself
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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Memories Photograph Yourself
I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
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I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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Abandonment Book Build Funny Myself Ocean Yourself
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Break Up Imagination Myself Relationship
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
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Appearance Imagination Phone Weird Yourself
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
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Conscience Funny Sleep Time

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