“Man, an animal that makes bargains.”

Happiness never lays its finger on its pulse.

Corn is a necessary, silver is only a superfluity.

How selfish soever man may be supposed, there are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortune of others, and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it, except the pleasure of seeing it.

It is not for its own sake that men desire money, but for the sake of what they can purchase with it.

In the long-run the workman may be as necessary to his master as his master is to him, but the necessity is not so immediate.

Virtue is more to be feared than vice, because its excesses are not subject to the regulation of conscience.

I am a beau in nothing but my books.

The great secret of education is to direct vanity to proper objects.

Resentment seems to have been given us by nature for a defense, and for a defense only! It is the safeguard of justice and the security of innocence.

Civil government, so far as it is instituted for the security of property, is in reality instituted for the defense of the rich against the poor, or of those who have some property against those who have none at all.

In a militia, the character of the laborer, artificer, or tradesman, predominates over that of the soldier: in a standing army, that of the soldier predominates over every other character.

The game women play is men.

The man scarce lives who is not more credulous than he ought to be. The natural disposition is always to believe. It is acquired wisdom and experience only that teach incredulity, and they very seldom teach it enough.

The world neither ever saw, nor ever will see, a perfectly fair lottery.

Goods can serve many other purposes besides purchasing money, but money can serve no other purpose besides purchasing goods.

I have no faith in political arithmetic.

The secret is, first, get a thoroughbred horse because they are the most nervous animals on earth. Then get the biggest gun you can find and make sure the starter fires that big gun right by the nervous thoroughbred’s ear.

You got beef, bring your cow, I will cattle you.

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

She’s a child of war. Stronger than a bomb with a lioness’s roar.

People always say he can run and he can jump. So can a deer and you wouldn’t put a deer in the game.

I am from the jungle where the lion eats the cobra.

Like a wild cat in the Serengeti, I land on my feet and transcend reality.

It was bad enough to have toppled from the Olympic heights to make my living competing with animals. But the competition wasn’t even fair. No man could beat a race horse, not even for 100 yards.