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[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?

Dorothy Parker

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKER

Atmosphere Best Children Home
It’s not the tragedies that kill us; it’s the messes.
DOROTHY PARKER

Kill Mess Myself Tragedy
I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
DOROTHY PARKER

Character Drink Identity Myself Problem Writing
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death God
Now, look, baby, ‘Union’ is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
DOROTHY PARKER

Letter Look Word
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
DOROTHY PARKER

Animal Business People Right Yourself
A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fight Liberty Man Room Start
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance Death Drink Laughter
Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKER

Change Funny Life Myself Oneself Sex Story
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
DOROTHY PARKER

End Happiness History Human Willing
Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.
DOROTHY PARKER

Beyond Live Wild
There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
DOROTHY PARKER

Distance Hell Simplicity Sports Truth Word
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
DOROTHY PARKER

Alcohol Angry Food Funny Grapes Wine
And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKER

Himself Run Stay
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER

Man Myself Relationship Requirement Stupidity

[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?

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[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?

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