The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLINLife is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN