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George Carlin Quote - Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.

Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.

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Breathe Life Memories Moment Travel

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLIN

Charge Hustle Inspirational Kill One Liner
Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLIN

Confidence Inspirational Life
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLIN

Religion Shoes Wear
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN

Baby Conservation Death Live Soldier Teaching
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN

Burn Death Enjoyment Family Fun Happiness Hell
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN

Acceptance Attitude Humour Lying Myself Reason Truth
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bad Christmas Girl Jolly Live Reason Santa Sex
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN

One Liner Petty Sweat
It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
GEORGE CARLIN

Helping Humour Life One Liner Shit
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLIN

Dog Funny Inspirational Job Lying
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLIN

Consider Kill Personality Situation
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLIN

Darkness Forecast Light Morning Night Weather
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Fly Walk
Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
GEORGE CARLIN

Age Hell Humour One Liner Price Wisdom
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN

Ending Happiness Inspirational Life Positive Rain Smile Umbrealla
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN

Attitude Myself One Liner Pardon

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