The writer’s way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?
DOROTHY PARKERIf you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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It’s not the tragedies that kill us; it’s the messes.
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If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER -
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
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I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
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There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
DOROTHY PARKER -
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
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Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
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Women and elephants never forget.
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Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
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You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
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You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
DOROTHY PARKER -
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
DOROTHY PARKER