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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.

Erma Bombeck

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Pieces Travel Yourself
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Funny Humor Moments Woman
It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
ERMA BOMBECK

Communication Inspirational Life Listening Suffering
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK

Give Up Guilty
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
ERMA BOMBECK

Body Born Children Deep Mom Pregnant
I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
ERMA BOMBECK

Death Experience Food Funny Hope Humor Man Myself Pieces Travel
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECK

Buy Fate Funny Price Yourself
He who laughs lasts.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Happiness Inspirational One Liner
The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
ERMA BOMBECK

Animal Food Funny Lion Wrong
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Funny Life
Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Ideas Light Myself Yourself
I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Give Up Myself See Sex Trust Woman
Never have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECK

Advice Children Funny Yourself
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
ERMA BOMBECK

Courage Humor Inspirational Laughter Need Reward Tragedy Yourself
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
ERMA BOMBECK

Clothes Live Luck Myself Society
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
ERMA BOMBECK

Home Ideas Myself See Work

Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.

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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.

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Popular Authors

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