“I know I’m never as good or bad as one single performance. I’ve never believed in my critics or my worshippers, and I’ve always been able to leave the game at the arena.”

You know what I always say about basketball whenever anybody tried to tell me the Knicks are gonna be good: They’re old. Old people don’t get healthy. They die.

You can’t start a diet in the middle of the week, that’s just stupid.

I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, ‘Yeah. I’m going to retire.’ They said, ‘Well, we’ll give you $9 million.’ And I said, ‘You got a pen on you?’

If you’re scarde to fail, you don’t deserve to be successful.

People always say turn the other cheek. If you turn the other cheek, I’m gonna hit you in the other cheek too.

These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.

We don’t need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.

The older I get, the faster I was.

Christian is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he’s been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys.

Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they’re still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn’t do much for them.

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.

I’m really disturbed about the gay marriage thing. Because I think gay people should get married, cause it’s their own business. Because as a Black man, I think you’ve got to be against any form of discrimination.

Preseason is just a way to screw fans out of money.

Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter’s old enough to take care of that herself.

I’m not a role model. Just because I dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.

If ifs were gifts, every day would be Christmas.

I snap at people I love all the time, and that makes me feel bad about myself. I want to be Zen. I am so not Zen. Whatever Zen is, I’m the opposite of it.

And, when it comes to counting our blessings; we humans are all bad at math.

It was bad enough to have toppled from the Olympic heights to make my living competing with animals. But the competition wasn’t even fair. No man could beat a race horse, not even for 100 yards.

If anybody has a bad day, they’ll just come to my room because they know I’ll bring out the positive in everything, or I’ll make them laugh, or I’ll be just crazy.

The Internet is neither good nor bad. It’s neutral – it becomes for each of us exactly what we bring to it.

It’s too bad, but the way American people are, now that they have all this capability, instead of taking advantage of it, they’ll probably just piss it all away.

There is perhaps nothing so bad and so dangerous in life as fear.

If God has shown us bad times ahead, it’s enough for me that He knows about them. That’s why He sometimes shows us things, you know – to tell us that this too is in His hands.