“I have nothing against old people; I want to be one myself one day.”

Kids are great. That’s one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It’s a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.

If Michael Jordan was a damn plumber, he couldn’t get a date. Any guy got $500 million looks good.

I think anybody who is racist is an idiot whether they are black or white.

When you’re black, you have to deal with so much crap in your life from other black people. It’s a dirty, dark secret; I’m glad it’s coming out.

When you read the book you see that these guys aren’t holding any punches. They’re straightforward. They’re honest. They’re giving you their honest opinion.

I don’t worry about playing basketball; that comes natural. I just want to have fun.

You can talk without saying a thing. I don’t ever want to be that type of person.

Poor people have been voting for Democrats for the last 50 years and they’re still poor.

Listening to a woman is almost as bad as losing to one. There are only three things that women are better at than men: cleaning, cooking, and having sex.

We’re not all supposed to think alike.

I know a lot of people did a lot of heavy lifting to make me successful and I do everything in my power not to screw it up.

I want to be a politician. I think I understand how the system works, I think a lot of politicians are corrupt, and it’s about time we put some people in there who are going to look out for the majority of the people instead of the rich people.

Poor white people and poor black people just don’t know how much they have in common. Rich people don’t give a damn about either group.

The main thing to do is relax and let your talent do the work.

He’s got to bring something stronger than that. That’s like bringing milk to a bar, it’s not strong enough

Unfortunately, as I tell my white friends, we as black people, we’re never going to be successful not because of you white people but because of other black people.

Won’t someone please answer my prayers before I’m old and gray. I’ve been lonely too long and all my family thinks I’m gay.

A lot of the old movie theaters are closing down now, which is really sad. It’s still in the back of my mind.

I’m very proud of my well-earned wrinkles, so show ’em.

This is one of man’s oldest riddles. How can the independence of human volition be harmonized with the fact that we are integral parts of a universe which is subject to the rigid order of nature’s laws?

The value of life is not in its duration, but in its donation. You are not important because of how long you live, you are important because of how effective you live. And most people are concerned about growing old rather than being effective.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

You get older. You start having hopes for other people rather than yourself.

Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.