“When there’s a person, there’s a problem. When there’s no person, there’s no problem.”

Nobody respects a country with a poor army, but everybody respects a country with a good army. I raise my toast to the Finnish army.

I trust no one, not even myself.

I believe in one thing only, the power of human will.

Do you remember the tsar? Well, I‘m like a tsar.

This is impossible to predict. War may break out unexpectedly.

The press must grow day in and day out – it is our Party’s sharpest and most powerful weapon.

A man’s eyes should be torn out if he can only see the past

Political power does not rest with those who cast votes; political power rests with those who count votes.

Our new Soviet constitution will, in my opinion, be the most democratic constitution of all those existing in the world.

It doesn’t matter who they vote for, they always vote for us.

Mankind is divided into rich and poor, into property owners and exploited; and to abstract oneself from this fundamental division; and from the antagonism between poor and rich means abstracting oneself from fundamental facts.

The reason why there is now no communist government in Paris is because in the circumstances of 1945 the Soviet army was not able to reach French soil.

Voters decide nothing. Vote counters decide everything!

Quantity has a quality all its own.

The death of one man is tragic, but the death of thousands is statistic.

It’s not the people who vote that count. It’s the people who count the votes.

I love only one girl, one in every town.

I had no idea what was going on but I loved every moment of it!! Tokyo’s restaurant game is next level hotness.

Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

You can write a song about being in love with someone, but you don’t have to be in love with anyone.

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

You know that I’m too drunk to talk right now. You put your cigarette out on my face.

The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn’t any.